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I went to a seafood disco last week… I pulled a mussel! UK’s top 10 ‘dad jokes’ revealed ahead of Father’s Day – so did YOUR favourite groan-inducing rib-tickler make the list?

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  • What’s YOUR favourite dad joke? Email megan.howe@mailonline.co.uk 

From cringeworthy one-liners to groan-inducing puns, there’s some real fool’s gold out there —  jokes that are so bad that they’re ‘good’.

Affectionately referred to as ‘dad jokes’, these witticisms are famous for making eyes roll and children groan with embarrassment. But there are some we just hate to love. 

Here, MailOnline reveals the top 10 rib-tickling ‘dad jokes’ guaranteed to get a laugh every time ahead of Father’s Day this Sunday.  

A father’s sense of humour has been rated one of the things we love most about him, according to a recent poll (stock image)

Taking the top spot is: ‘I went to a seafood disco last week! I pulled a mussel.’ 

This is followed by: ‘I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon – I’ll let you know which one arrives first.’

In third place is: ‘What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine.’

Followed by: ‘Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle.’

And: ‘What did the horse say when he fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.’

A poll by stationary retailer Ryman has revealed that our father’s sense of humour is actually one of the things we love most about him.

The second-most loved quality about our fathers is their hugs, followed by their advice, their constant support and their life lessons.

Chloe Danskin from Ryman said: ‘We may roll our eyes from time to time but there’s no denying that a cheesy dad joke makes us laugh.

‘It’s no surprise that our dads’ sense of humour is the favourite thing about the father figure in our life.’

The High Street retailer is owned by Dragon’s Den star Theo Paphitis who has five children and eight grandchildren and is therefore no stranger to a ‘dad joke’.

In 2023, it was revealed that ‘dad jokes’ were actually good for your health.

The poll comes ahead of Father's Day this Sunday in which families up and down the country will celebrate their father figures (stock)

The poll comes ahead of Father’s Day this Sunday in which families up and down the country will celebrate their father figures (stock)

Research from Marc Hye-Knudsen, of Aarhus University’s Cognition and Behaviour Laboratory, said ‘dad jokes’ were important in helping children learn to be embarrassed.

Writing for the British Psychological Society, Mr Hye-Knudsen explained: ‘By teasingly striking at their children’s egos and emotions without teetering over into bullying, fathers build their children’s resilience and train them to withstand minor attacks and bouts of negative emotion without getting worked up or acting out, teaching them impulse control and emotional regulation.

‘In light of this, it is worth considering dad jokes as a pedagogical tool that may serve a beneficial function for the very children who roll their eyes at them.

‘By continually telling their children jokes that are so bad that they’re embarrassing, fathers may push their children’s limits for how much embarrassment they can handle.

‘They show their children that embarrassment isn’t fatal.’

Revealed: UK’s Top 10 ‘dad jokes’

1. I went to a seafood disco last week – I pulled a mussel!

2. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon – I’ll let you know which one arrives first.

3. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine.

4. Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle.

5. What did the horse say when he fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.

6. Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him – that’s what I get for buying a pure-bread dog.

7. To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you – you have my Word.

8. I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control – I thought to myself, ‘Well this changes everything.’

9. Today at the bank, a lady asked me to check her balance – so I pushed her over.

10. What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two.

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